First Chair vs. Second Chair Leader

Over the last 28 years, I have served at Nativity as a second chair leader. A second chair leader is someone who has a seat at the highest level of the organization. Second chair leaders run a major part of the organization. They help form and make decisions that impact the whole organization, because the first chair leader looks to them for advice and counsel. Second chairs matter greatly and no organization can succeed without really good - or great - second chair leaders.

A first chair leader is the person at the top of the organizational chart. While there can be a few and even an abundance of second chair leaders depending on the size of an organization, there can only be one first chair leader. The first chair leader is the one ultimately responsible for the whole of the organization. They set the vision and direction. While good first chair leaders build a team that collaborates, first chair leaders are the final decision makers in an organization. As U.S. President Harry Truman liked to say, “The buck stops here.” He knew he was ultimately responsible for the decisions made in the White House.

Over the last few years, I have had the experience of being a first chair leader as the president of Rebuilt. As co-founder of the organization, it is a role I have sought. Here is what I have found: it is hard. There are challenges in the first chair that I never experienced as a second chair leader. Since sitting in the first chair, I have apologized to Father Michael for times when I didn’t understand his reactions to situations. I get it now because I have experienced what he has experienced. In a recent small group with pastors from our partner parishes, I shared these experiences and they all nodded their heads in agreement.

If you are a pastor or leader of an organization, perhaps you can relate to the following internal and emotional experiences. If you are in the second chair, it is good to know what the first chair experiences.

One, I take whatever happens in the organization more personally. I love Nativity. I love the parish and take everything that happens here personally. And yet as president of Rebuilt, I take everything even more personally. If something does not go right or there is not progress in an area, I own it and it bothers me deep down. Recently, I realized we had failed to own up to an agreement with a great supporter of our organization. It wrecked me for a few weeks. It wrecked me because it was a failure of the organization and therefore my failure.

First chair leaders will own everything that happens more personally. In some ways that is good and in some ways it can be unhealthy. It is good because first chair leaders are responsible for the whole organization and therefore should feel a personal sense of responsibility. It can be bad if we wear it too tightly and let it mix up our identity in that role.

Second, I feel the burden and weight of the organization far more than I did in the second chair. Most if not all of us have had those sleepless nights or what I call “wake up at 3 in the morning” nights. A responsibility we carry weighs on us and we wake up thinking about the issue and are unable to get back to sleep. I have that in the second chair at Nativity, but I have it far more often in the first chair at Rebuilt.

Again, there is good and bad. The good is that you take the role seriously. You understand your responsibility. The weight of the responsibility can lead to more prayer. Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, I use it as an opportunity to pray and give the organization over to God. The bad is that we work best out of rest. God doesn’t want us to work out of worry. Sometimes the burdens lead only to worry instead of trusting God with them.

Third, I have experienced more feelings of loneliness in the first chair. When you are in the second chair, you have other second chair leaders in the organization who understand the struggles of the position. In the first chair, you don’t have that other person. You may experience loneliness because you take everything more personally and you feel a greater weight.

While first chairs are more susceptible to the feelings of loneliness, that doesn’t mean we should just accept it. As psychologist, author, and leadership coach Henry Cloud notes, “if it is lonely at the top, then you are doing it wrong.” This is why I think it is important for other first chair leaders to find support. Often this support is most effective when it comes from outside the organization. This is why we offer parish coaching and one-on-one coaching for pastors. While the feeling of loneliness will occur, we don’t want pastors to live in that constant state. We want pastors to know they have help on the journey.

If you feel the loneliness and burden of leadership, consider connecting with us and learning how we at Rebuilt can accompany you on the journey. To learn more about coaching, visit rebuiltparish.com/coaching and we will have someone on our team reach out to you.

Rooting for you,
Tom